I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
