sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
