Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
