I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
