Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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