So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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