i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I love you. Go after that dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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