The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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