There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
