I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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