I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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