i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
