Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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