In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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