the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize