I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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