So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
