My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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