Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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