I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
