Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
