did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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