I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
