franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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