We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
