i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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