I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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