At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
