Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
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Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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