Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
