you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
