his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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