The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
