why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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