this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
