Your face is a jimmy john
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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