Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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