Do you still have your period?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
