I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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