Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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