how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
