Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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