omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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