Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize