porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
