I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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