I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
