Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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