I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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