yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
