He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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