You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
