Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
