The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize