a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
