I'm going to rape someone's good day.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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