$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
