Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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