Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
