No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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