I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize