i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My vagina is very pro this idea
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
