You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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