If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This house was built for laser tag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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