I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
