we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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