Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I cockslap morals
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
