So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
