I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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