I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
