and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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