Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
