So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
