yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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